By Miranda Hitti

Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario, MD

On Tuesday, September 28, 2004

WebMD Medical News

Sept. 28, 2004 -- The end of a romantic relationship spells trouble for many American high school and college students.

In recent surveys, at least 20% of undergraduates at two public universities said they had, or currently were, dealing with intrusive contact by a former romantic partner. The studies were conducted by clinical psychologist and associate professor of human development Jeffrey Haugaard, PhD, MA, of Cornell University and Lisa Seri, a Cornell alumna now pursuing a graduate degree in psychology at the University of Georgia.

The term "stalking," though commonly used, has no widely accepted definition. Instead, the researchers used the phrase "intrusive contact," which includes phone calls, watching the former partner's residence, following the former partner, and threatening physical harm. More than 600 undergraduates participated. Most were in heterosexual relationships. Fifty-two students said they initiated intrusive contact toward another person, and 127 reported they had been the target of intrusive contact. Eight students reported that they had been both the target of and had initiated intrusive contact after a relationship went sour.

Of the students initiating the contact, many reported repeating these behaviors after numerous relationships. Female students were more likely than males to have been the target of intrusive contact. However there was no association between sex and being the initiator of intrusive contact. The problems had to last at least two weeks to be considered intrusive contact for the study. Phone calls were the most frequent problem, while physical threats were rare. However, about 25% of women said they had feared for their safety; only one man voiced the same concern.

"It may very well have been that the frequent intrusive contact, paired with the person's knowledge about some aspects of his or her partner's nature, engendered a fear reaction," write the researchers.

For some, the experience had lasting impact. Of the students who responded to questions regarding the impact of intrusive behavior, 32% said it had a "decidedly negative" impact on their other dating relationships, and almost a third said it had a "decidedly negative" effect on their life in general. On average, intrusive contact lasted about eight weeks. But some cases spanned more than two years.

The researchers didn't find any warning signs about what types of people might be more likely to start intrusive contact.

Here is some advice from brochures written by Haugaard and Seri for handling intrusive contact.

• Set limits. Clearly communicate what, if any, type of contact you are willing to have with a former partner.
• Make the limits reasonable. For instance, it may be unreasonable to ask someone to quit a club or activity, but enlisting help from a supervising adult might be appropriate.
• Follow your limits. For example, answering the 25th phone call just teaches your ex to keep calling, "even if you just yell at your ex and tell him or her not to call ever again."
• Keep a journal of intrusive contact incidents.
• Trust your intuition. "If you suddenly feel unsafe, trust your feeling."

Other basic safety practices -- like locking your doors, varying your patterns, driving to safety, and traveling with friends -- may also help.

"If the contact persists or you become concerned about your safety, you may want to consult with the police or talk with a lawyer, or do both," says Haugaard in a news release.

The studies appeared in the journals Criminal Justice and Behavior and Victims and Victimology.

SOURCES: Haugaard, J. Criminal Justice and Behavior; February 2004; vol 31: pp 37-54. Haugaard, J. Victims and Victimology; 2003; vol 18. News release, Cornell University. Haugaard, J. and Seri, L. "Strategies to Reduce Intrusive Contact" and "Tips for Keeping Safe."